Steelers fans, pull yourself together; Crisis, Crisis, Crisis

For God’s sake you would think the world is almost over, the sky has fallen, Donald Trump married Hillary Clinton with Joe Biden and George Bush serving as ring bearers. Great Scott, the company with Pittsburgh roots that long ceased to be a Pittsburgh company, has stopped sponsoring the Pittsburgh Steelers stadium. This is now Acrisure Stadium.

That’s it, destroy it!

The big yellow barn on the North Shore is named after Acrisure Insurance. The company also handles artificial intelligence and real estate, just in case you’re in the market.

Say it with me, Acrisure. You can do it. It doesn’t hurt or affect the Pittsburgh Steelers negatively.

In fact, with $150 million coming in, the new stadium name helps the organization. The money that Acrisure – repeat – paid for the naming rights is three times that of Heinz, which is no more a Pittsburgh company than US Steel, PNC Bank or PPG.

Why does everything have to be centered on Pittsburgh anyway? Every player who grew up in Pittsburgh should play for Pittsburgh, and every Pittsburgh team should covet any player who grew up within driving distance of the Three Rivers.

Calm down already.

Acrisure. Acrisure. Acrisure.

Much more pressing issues include Devin Bush’s flagging career, the possibility of a mediocre QB under center picking up passes in the grass or opposing jerseys, an offensive line rebuilt with broken pieces and a coach- leader who did not win a playoff. game since Obama left office.

But MY GOD, THEY CHANGED THE NAME OF THE STADIUM, KINGERSKI! It’s not Heinz Field anymore!

And it’s not called Blush at the End of the Bridge anymore Rachel Carson. Chauncey is long gone. Froggy’s is just a distant memory. Mother Earth has practically disappeared. What are you getting at?

You’re still going to pay $16 for a beer. $12 for nachos. And you’ll be tailgating while laughing at the even worse situation of the Cleveland Browns QBs, while wondering how desperate an organization could be to sign a player already charged with more than a dozen sexual assaults. This part isn’t funny, but you’ll revel in the Browns’ failure as you toast the locked Bud Light coolers in Cleveland.

Currently, there are protests and petitions against the Acrisure change.

Can’t we just be happy that Kenny Pickett is finally the QB for the Steelers?

The world is still dealing with an insidious little virus that is more contagious than say jagoff. A great country is always waging an unfounded and criminal war against a peaceful neighbour. Gas prices are still near $5. Inflation is outpacing record wage gains, so average families are getting raises but losing money putting food on the table. We have a group of octogenarians who are still fighting for the presidency as our infrastructure crumbles and our society tears itself apart to support one of these octogenarians.

Yinz has nothing better to do, huh?

Crisis, crisis, crisis.

The Pittsburgh Steelers existed long before an insurance company paid them money, and they will exist long after. Perhaps you remember the giant Marlboro sign in Three Rivers? Players shooting helicopters, speeding up McKnight were weedbags, knocking down doors at home, and far more egregious allegations.

Just keep singing Muuuthh every time Pat Freiermuth catches a pass and take a deep breath. Everything will be alright.

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