Dear Annie: My wife has stopped taking care of her

Dear Anne: I have been married to the love of my life for 15 years, but the last 10 years have been different from the first five. My wife is suffering from depression for health reasons with her thyroid, but my problem is that she has stopped going to the doctor.

I beg her to leave, but it always ends in an argument. Recently she started taking showers only twice a month and she doesn’t clean up after her. She is used to making our children do it.

I am on my knees. I still love her and I will never leave her because I made a wish, and she knows it. — Burnt out

Dear At the end of the line: Watching your wife suffer from depression is devastating. You live with all the symptoms and it affects the whole family. The person who is most at the end of the line is your wife.

Untreated depression is a terrible way to live. She needs help right away – not just from a thyroid doctor, but from a trained psychiatrist who specializes in depression and who can put her on the right path to well-being. Tell her it’s not just for her, but also for the sake of your children and your marriage. Keep supporting her, but don’t give up fighting for her help.

Dear Anne: Thirty years ago, I met a man and fell in love with him. But he never asked me to marry him. He was 10 years older than me and had two young children. Life went on. I had children of my own, who are grown up now, and both still live at home. I take care of them and their dad.

Today, 30 years later, I can’t help but feel that I still love the man I met so long ago. We’re in communication, and he wants me to leave my family.

I have never been satisfied with my life, but I still continue. I’m so scared to do something for myself, and this time I’m tempted, but I don’t know what to do. Please help. — Lost in the past

Dear lost in the past: The rearview mirror is much smaller than the windshield. Move towards the life YOU want for yourself. However, your former flame has no right to ask you to leave your family. He looks like a control freak who needs to stop interfering with your relationship between your children and their father. If he really wanted you to “run away with him” and leave your family, he should have done so when you first met and he should have asked you to marry him.

See previous columns “Dear Annie”

“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit Creators Edition for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected]

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