Dear Annie 04/26 | The Spokesperson’s Review
Dear Anne: I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we have a child whole. We love each other, but we are not married.
I keep asking, “Why does he take so long to propose marriage?” I waited, but I don’t want to wait forever.
We’ve had many conversations about marriage, and he always says we’re married on his mind. Should I keep taking this, or is it time to move on? I say that because I really want to get married. There is an age difference between us. I am 31 years old and he is 41 years old.
What should I do? Leaving after I gave her a deadline, or just saying we’re married in each of our minds, despite the fact that I want a real wedding? – 10 years and over
Dear Count: If your boyfriend tells you he’s already married in his mind – and marriage is something you really want out of the relationship, not just for yourself but for the sake of your child – then why can’t he not just act and get married? If it’s really that important to you, it should be to him.
After 10 years, giving it a deadline is more than reasonable. Good luck!
Dear Anne: I was completely delighted with your response to “Going With the Flow”, the reader who had a wonderful conversation with a woman with Alzheimer’s disease, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. As a palliative care nurse for 10 years, I have had many dementia patients and tell my families to do exactly what Going With the Flow did. The patient’s ‘here and now’ is NOT the same as our ‘here and now’, and they are usually in a place where they are or were happy. You will NEVER bring them back to your time and place, so go for it!
It’s hard because we want to “fix” our loved ones (or stop them from drifting away from us), but just following their feed will save everyone involved a lot of aggravation. When I see a new patient with dementia, I always imagine a sign on their door when I enter their home: “Reality doesn’t live here anymore.
“Go with the flow”, thank you so much for not feeling sorry for this lady and just giving her some happy times. You are a special person! – Palliative care nurse in Vegas
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